One of my life verses has been Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take”. The constant reminder I’m not in control. My plans are not always the right plans. My job is to trust God. For the last two years, I’ve had several people encourage me to write. I’ve made excuse after excuse as to why I don’t want to write. I’ve never considered myself a writer. I’m more of a verbal expresser or a thought igniter. Or as some call “Talkative”. My passions drive me to write or should I say, post. I like writing in short spurts of 140 characters or just enough for the Facebook status. Many blogs I read are centered on family, life, women and entertainment. Not to mention some are incredibly long, beautiful stories but long. I never considered blogging my style of communication. The more I “Become” the more I’m realizing I have more to say, 140 characters turns out is not enough.
Although I’m a Children’s Director, it is not my preferred subject to write about in this season. There it is, I said it. It is probably my own expectation that I have projected on others. I did a lot of comparative thinking that I should write about what I DO. A few years back, I was invited to co-write a blog for Simply Urban Youth Ministry (I guess you will call it the Black version of Simply Youth Ministry with my good friend Jeff Wallace. Oh man it was a struggle! I realize it was a struggle because it was not my voice. There are many facets to me. I have to admit, I’ve been guilty of suppressing many aspects of myself. I have worked in Children’s and Youth in some capacity for years. My career began in Corporate America; it is still hard for me to believe. Those days were torcher but valuable to the person I have become. I will not box myself into a particular subject. To be honest, I’m tired of boxes and glass ceiling! I will save that thought for another day. God has really developed my passion for Justice. As I look back on the patterns of my life, Justice has been a part of my make up it is interwoven in my DNA. A few friends have labeled me the DEFENDER OF THE WEAK, JUSTICE PROCLAIMER and Opinionated. Call it what you like, I will write about Justice. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream! Amos 5:23-24. My interpretation “Stop being religious and set things right”.
Unfortunately, I have thoughts on everything. I see God through many things. I can be a little ADD and that is an understatement. Yes, I’m opinionated, I love random facts, and I am an earlier adopter. I don’t have the solutions but in discussing we may find one. I love chatting about my passion in the Anti-Humantrafficking fight, Race, Diversity, Churchisms, Leadership and being a woman in ministry. I love motivating others to pursue their God-Given passions and developing leaders. Many of the topics I love discussing are taboo subjects that are uncomfortable for many. I’m crazy enough to believe God can use a few to create change, to make a difference.
As I reflect on my interest, I feel God is still developing my voice, whatever that means. I have decided to write the process, to write through the insecurities. I may not understand everything now, but I trust God will make my paths straight. He will show me which paths to take. If I can be vulnerable for a moment, I see writing as a weakness. I prefer to work my strengths. I am really insecure about blogging and I hate that feeling. I can never quite express myself in writing as I do verbally or on social media. But maybe I have a story? I will write. I will not wait until I figure it all out. My inclination would be to wait, organize, compare and strategize. I will write in obedience because I believe it is what I’m supposed to do. I will depend on God allowing him to lead in my writings. I will write to find my voice. I will write to express the heart of God. I will write and not give in to my insecurity. I will write with honesty. I will write stories that engage conversation. I will write to bring awareness. I will write about bridge building. I will write about justice. I will write. Join me on my journey to Write…”Write On”.